You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My pussy is not your playground.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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