Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
