Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize