that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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