AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
