You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
