But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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