Where are you?
In a non slutty way
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
