PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Alive.
So much puke
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
