you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
