Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
