I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
