and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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