Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
