it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
