oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize