So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He passed out mid-signature
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Randomize
