How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
