i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
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New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
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Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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