So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
