i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
