If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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