I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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