I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
