i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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