you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
