I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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