New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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