Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
