All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?