Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.

(317): View more from Indiana

And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt

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(317): I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening. (317): And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt http://tfl.nu/9n2q

Replies (13) Good night (2152) Bad night (561)
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(702): View more from Nevada

grinding to god bless the USA? really?

(860): View more from Connecticut

shut up

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(702): grinding to god bless the USA? really? (860): shut up http://tfl.nu/llw2

Replies (12) Good night (959) Bad night (1275)
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(813): View more from Florida

I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.

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(813): I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success. http://tfl.nu/8y3e

Replies (57) Good night (6375) Bad night (655)
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(214): View more from Texas

probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time

(972): View more from Texas

i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"

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(214): probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time (972): i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!" http://tfl.nu/dprb

Replies (22) Good night (9675) Bad night (957)
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(913): View more from Kansas

You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup

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(913): You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup http://tfl.nu/bt9z

Replies (9) Good night (1354) Bad night (4419)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.

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(336): I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm. http://tfl.nu/32ib

Replies (5) Good night (960) Bad night (5231)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.

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(606): I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents. http://tfl.nu/w3i6

Replies (8) Good night (3579) Bad night (1748)
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(847): View more from Illinois

If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it

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(847): If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it http://tfl.nu/cx6g

Replies (6) Good night (2226) Bad night (700)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

yeah you don't forget that shit easily

(651): View more from Minnesota

We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.

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(651): You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"? (1-651): yeah you don't forget that shit easily (651): We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email. http://tfl.nu/xfpa

Replies (11) Good night (4786) Bad night (755)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.

(1-757): View more from Virginia

It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.

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(757): Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week. (1-757): It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell. http://tfl.nu/5ztt

Replies (6) Good night (2752) Bad night (1010)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.

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(785): Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ. http://tfl.nu/krx2

Replies (2) Good night (1291) Bad night (424)
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(314): View more from Missouri

struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.

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(314): struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window. http://tfl.nu/5555

Replies (2) Good night (456) Bad night (388)
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(773): View more from Illinois

okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.

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(773): okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis. http://tfl.nu/pm2x

Replies (2) Good night (353) Bad night (781)
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(315): View more from New York

He tried to tip me with his police badge...

(1-315): View more from New York

and you didn't accept WHY?!

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(315): He tried to tip me with his police badge... (1-315): and you didn't accept WHY?! http://tfl.nu/ie3g

Replies (2) Good night (699) Bad night (393)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."

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(931): What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed." http://tfl.nu/pp3s

Replies (3) Good night (568) Bad night (262)

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