Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?

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  (914): Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business? http://tfl.nu/3lau
  Replies (36) Good night (640) Bad night (882)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.

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  (678): I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour. http://tfl.nu/s8k7
  Replies (13) Good night (615) Bad night (2484)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her

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  (913): I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her http://tfl.nu/1ar3
  Replies (39) Good night (5807) Bad night (1414)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Get out of your relationship and into my pants.

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  (647): Get out of your relationship and into my pants. http://tfl.nu/sn5l
  Replies (45) Good night (23244) Bad night (1258)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets

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  (414): I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets http://tfl.nu/vdn6
  Replies (14) Good night (1004) Bad night (3762)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough

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  (630): We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough http://tfl.nu/a8j7
  Replies (4) Good night (2777) Bad night (1209)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.

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  (859): I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you. http://tfl.nu/a48g
  Replies (14) Good night (5457) Bad night (2067)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  the room spins SO much faster in panama

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  (513): the room spins SO much faster in panama http://tfl.nu/zlx7
  Replies (5) Good night (2453) Bad night (867)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.

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  (518): Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea. http://tfl.nu/ytsg
  Replies (3) Good night (2522) Bad night (591)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  and you succeeded.

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  (919): The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk. (1-919): and you succeeded. http://tfl.nu/9cm4
  Replies (11) Good night (4360) Bad night (947)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk

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  (713): He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk http://tfl.nu/6kdn
  Replies (7) Good night (1465) Bad night (573)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  of course we have a beer bong

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  how else would we feed our christmas tree

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  (267): of course we have a beer bong (267): how else would we feed our christmas tree http://tfl.nu/aebp
  Replies (3) Good night (1129) Bad night (401)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.

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  (541): A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/awme
  Replies (2) Good night (1162) Bad night (475)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?

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  (719): Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween? http://tfl.nu/i2fu
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (294)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary

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  (214): I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary http://tfl.nu/wcin
  Replies (9) Good night (254) Bad night (683)

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