I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Fuck me I smell like cheese