speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?