Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.

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  (810): I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages. http://tfl.nu/0oct
  Replies (4) Good night (1619) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer

  (214): View more from Texas

  ... I'm KD

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  (903): I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer (214): ... I'm KD http://tfl.nu/mzja
  Replies (38) Good night (671) Bad night (2276)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.

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  (818): I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO. http://tfl.nu/pbw8
  Replies (15) Good night (4184) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over

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  (304): all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over http://tfl.nu/i61z
  Replies (27) Good night (5151) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.

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  (240): And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender. http://tfl.nu/1lfm
  Replies (8) Good night (6361) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...

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  (806): A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal" (501): Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him... http://tfl.nu/wsps
  Replies (15) Good night (6167) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"

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  (918): I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn" http://tfl.nu/8vnd
  Replies (20) Good night (1090) Bad night (5574)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.

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  (540): Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft. http://tfl.nu/aaf2
  Replies (3) Good night (3108) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.

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  (814): Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/cbd5
  Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (1710)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced

  (210): View more from Texas

  The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks

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  (210): The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced (210): The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks http://tfl.nu/kwln
  Replies (6) Good night (1766) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun

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  (630): All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun http://tfl.nu/y2l0
  Replies (6) Good night (2159) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun

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  (616): Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night. (402): 20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun http://tfl.nu/qbq0
  Replies (2) Good night (779) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship

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  (403): She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship http://tfl.nu/44te
  Replies (6) Good night (1581) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.

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  (208): Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow. http://tfl.nu/loua
  Replies (3) Good night (717) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle

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  (905): I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle http://tfl.nu/bb9s
  Replies (2) Good night (694) Bad night (248)

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