i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel