with your own penis?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks