The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
