Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
