Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
