OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
