Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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