I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
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