How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
