We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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