Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
