After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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