my soul wont recognize me after tonight
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
