Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
