This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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