Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
