My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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