dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
