Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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