A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
