awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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