I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
