this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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