Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

meow

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.

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(214): View more from Texas

bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)

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(410): View more from Maryland

i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"

(913): View more from Kansas

did you yell "are you not entertained?"

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(469): View more from Texas

you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator

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(626): View more from California

All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.

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(804): View more from Virginia

i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral

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(330): View more from Ohio

I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him

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