So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
21 MILFs That Made The Boys Crazy
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother