Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.

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(315): evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/zjs6

Replies (31) Good night (853) Bad night (1470)
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(970): View more from Colorado

The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.

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(970): The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito. http://tfl.nu/8dlm

Replies (23) Good night (650) Bad night (3332)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in

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(217): I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in http://tfl.nu/womw

Replies (37) Good night (1642) Bad night (3049)
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(443): View more from Maryland

You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.

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(443): You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies. http://tfl.nu/c673

Replies (21) Good night (5313) Bad night (1296)
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(847): View more from Illinois

Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"

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(847): Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago" http://tfl.nu/h89t

Replies (46) Good night (2186) Bad night (8011)
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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it

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(867): lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it http://tfl.nu/o5td

Replies (9) Good night (1783) Bad night (4301)
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(406): View more from Montana

As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.

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(406): As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins. http://tfl.nu/zjez

Replies (21) Good night (5465) Bad night (1217)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?

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(603): just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why? http://tfl.nu/6teb

Replies (6) Good night (2228) Bad night (736)
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(845): View more from New York

Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup

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(845): Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup http://tfl.nu/4mdx

Replies (6) Good night (1094) Bad night (577)
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(360): View more from Washington

Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.

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(360): Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats. http://tfl.nu/2ns1

Replies (7) Good night (1559) Bad night (958)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.

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(970): I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome. http://tfl.nu/hol9

Replies (6) Good night (2643) Bad night (928)
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(517): View more from Michigan

The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night

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(517): The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night http://tfl.nu/871q

Replies (3) Good night (674) Bad night (340)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about

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(781): I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about http://tfl.nu/ocbn

Replies (4) Good night (454) Bad night (687)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.

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(570): Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore. http://tfl.nu/jsbv

Replies (2) Good night (792) Bad night (430)
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(845): View more from New York

I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder

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(845): I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder http://tfl.nu/kklv

Replies (1) Good night (208) Bad night (565)

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