it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize