just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
