Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
