The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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