I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
this will be a night to untag.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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