She said her name was "party"
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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