well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
and you fell through a lawn chair
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
