Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.