probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
