Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(641): View more from Iowa

literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs

Fav 17 4855 989
share tweet
(469): View more from Texas

you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.

Fav 12 5546 927
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(740): View more from Ohio

She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.

Fav 11 1074 5194
share tweet
(210): View more from Texas

I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.

Fav 16 3394 1270
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(425): View more from Washington

Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?

Fav 10 1642 930
share tweet
(860): View more from Connecticut

You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face

Fav 3 1103 843
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you

Fav 4 1140 590
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.

Fav 4 813 879
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(585): View more from New York

I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila

Fav 0 28 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT