Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
Just general bites
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The power of my boobs compel you